Ok well now that most of you have found me, let’s do another. I am considering work in the ministry or maybe being an English or drama teacher. I really don’t want to stop the music, but the thing is I think I may be tone deaf. I can tell when notes change, I can tell if the new note is higher or lower than the first note, but I can’t figure out what either note is, and I can’t tell how far the new note is away from the old note. This is causing a major problem. This inability to “hear” is making me feel even more inadequate than I already did. I do not like the competition at Ohio State. That aside, when I feel overwhelmed with inadequacy I tend to shut down. I don’t know how to fix a problem so I avoid it. Fantastic coping method. Not. Anyway…. I feel like I cannot do this whole music thing properly. Also I feel like I do not fit in personally with the way these “music” people act. Like I always fit in with the band kids, but the “music majors” are all a certain kind of person, and I don’t fit. The way they talk, the way they act, the way they behave, they all seem so refined with a sense of humor that makes no sense to me. I think I am much more of a theatre person now than a music person. And that’s ok, I just don’t know if not being a music person is ok. Like if today I decide I would rather teach English or drama, am I going to hate myself tomorrow for not teaching band? I’m wondering what you think. Would I make an ok English teacher? Drama teacher? Pastor? Should I stay with band? I don’t know. A little advice while I research? I don’t know. That seems to be my theme. I don’t know.
Maybe being a music teacher isn't what you are meant to do. I know it was your dream for a long time, but dreams change, and that's not always bad. I think you're definitely meant to teach, because everything else you're considering is teaching people somehow. So you could consider any option. If one idea excites you more than another, go for it. And just because you're not teaching music doesn't mean it can't still be a part of your life. You could be in a band or other ensemble for people who aren't studying music but still want to play. You're at like one of the biggest schools, so you have sooo many opportunities to try new things. Dabble a little, and see what happens. You could volunteer at an after school program tutoring kids to see if that's something you like to do. You could get involved in campus ministry and see what things they have. One of my friends here is in a devotional group, and next year she's going to be a leader of her own group. So get your feet wet in a few things, and see what you like.
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